Excerpt from Episode 10 - Do Androids Dream of Electronic Beeps?
“Hailing
channel open.”
“We
are the Bjork. You will be assimilated. We shall sing to you in Elfin tones. Resistance
is Futile. Oh, and do you have a packet of sugar we can borrow?”
“OH NO, NOT THE BJORK!!!!”, screamed The
Fearless Captain Disaster, The Brave Flossy and The Odorous Zero-Bit as one.
“Not
The Bjork who assimilate you into an homogenous whole!”, cried Fearless.
“Not
The Bjork who make such a hideous screeching noise that your spirit is
destroyed!”, wailed Brave.
“Not
The Bjork who borrow your sugar and never return it or even so much as say
thank you!”, squealed Odorous.
“Oh
come on now, we’re not all that bad, you know. It’s quite fun being part of a
homogenous whole. Just ask a bottle of milk.”
While
they considered this intriguing insight, they could observe in the viewer that
the alien craft turning very slowly to face them, a sure sign that they were
preparing to assimilate them. As Disaster Area was trapped in a tractor beam by
now, the fact that it was turning very slowly was merely to add to the terror
factor.
There
was a smell of putrefying aborigine in the air. Captain Disaster mumbled an
apology.
“There
is no escape. Resistance is futile.”
“Yes,
yes, thank you, you told us that already. Why are you determined to clutter up
the dialogue with repetitious rubbish?”, fumed Zero-Bit. (In fact, the reason for the repetitious
rubbish in the dialogue was down to an unusually low level of inspiration and
caffeine.)
Quoth
Flossy, “wherefore doth thou afflict this good ship? Thou art a raven!”
Quoth
The Bjork, “WOD?”
“Quack”,
quoth the Raven. (It had personality issues).
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