Nearby was a huge diamond, presumably the
“Crazy Diamond” that Floyd had told them about.
It was obvious even to someone with the Captain’s dizzying lack of
intellect that there was something wrong with it. He tried shouting various encouraging mottos
at it, including “Shine On!”, but none of these appeared to help.
“Hey, look over there!” shouted
Paul. CD followed where Paul was
pointing to until he realised that Paul had no fingers, or hands, or arms. Somehow he still managed to end up in the
right place (narrative flow rules!). It
was a mining rig of some sort. There was
an unearthly smell in the area.
“That” said Paul excitedly, “is pure
Promethium, the world’s most powerful, and smelliest, propellant. Much sought after all around the galaxy.”
The Rock (no not Dwayne Johnson, the
other one, called Paul) further expounded: “It was really quite ingenious of
the moon’s original terraformers; they set up the correct set of raw materials
and chemical catalysts to create promethium over the course of mere centuries
instead of hundreds of thousands of years, as it takes unaided in nature. They added nanobots to oversee and enhance
the process. Then they used the future
value of this resource to offset the actual cost of creating the moon.”
“Impressive” said the Captain, “but even
more impressive is, I’ve found this cool oversized contact lens!”
“You fool!” cried Paul, “you have doomed
us all!”
CD was panic-stricken. “What? Why?!
How??!! What is it?!?!?! What will it do?!?!?!?!?!?!? Why me, I’m so young!!!!! >>>>>>::::::
<<<<{{{{}}}} ::::@@@@ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Paul was mightily impressed at the number
of non-alphanumerical characters in that outburst. “Actually nothing, I’ve just always wanted to
say that. Dramatic flair and whatnot.”
CD consigned Paul to the deepest, darkest
pocket for several hours. Eventually he
got bored of having no-one to talk to see set Paul free, bringing him into the
light once more. “Totally worth it”
quoth the rock.
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Get it from Amazon (UK)
(If you are in another country, clicking on either link should have an option to take you to your local Amazon site too.)
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