Reviews of two Captain Disaster ebooks

Blogger Phil Leader has kindly reviewed not one but two of my Captain Disaster ebooks on GoodReads - The Captain Disaster Collection and The Damaris Touch,  They both got a solid 4 star rating.

"The Damaris Touch" free promo

Captain Disaster: The Damaris Touch will be available as a free download for Kindle from 14th to 16th February 2019.

Here's the link for when it happens...

Double header comedy scifi sale

I'm putting both of my ebooks currently available at Itch.io on sale - they were cheap anyway but now they're even cheaper!

Captain Disaster: The Dark Side of the Moon is just 95 cents

Captain Disaster: The Damaris Touch is only 88 cents

These are both comedy scifi short stories featuring your favourite space-faring captain in PDF format, so can be read on any type of reader (or your desktop if you prefer).

2 free promos for World Book Day

To celebrate World Book Day 2018, I've put two of my ebooks on a free offer today:

Comedy sci-fi short story Captain Disaster: The Damaris Touch

Children's picture book That's Not Fair!

FREE TODAY ONLY - Captain Disaster: The Damaris Touch

Answering distress calls can be a tricky business, as Captain Disaster has found out before - but he's a good-hearted individual so of course he answers yet another one. At first there doesn't seem to be any danger, just a couple of odd aliens with a unique business plan - but things soon take a turn for the worst as it emerges that they are not alone on the planet.

Another comedy sci-fi short story from the deranged creative mind behind the Captain Disaster eBooks and computer games.

Get It Here

Free promo continues today

Well due mainly to quite a few Twitter buddies answering my call for help in advertising my free promo, it's been going rather well so far - certainly better than previous efforts.  The Captain Disaster Collection has managed to achieve Top 10 in the category Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Science Fiction > Anthologies & Short Stories in both the US and UK stores.  (Admittedly this is an extremely low competition area but it's still rather pleasing!)

Hoping for some more downloads today to consolidate top ten status.

• The Captain Disaster Collection
• Captain Disaster: The Damaris Touch

I'm enormously grateful to anyone who downloads either or both ebooks and especially anyone who does so and then leaves a review!

Fancy a bit of Captain Disaster?

The Captain Disaster Collection is free today, tomorrow and Saturday.

Captain Disaster: The Damaris Touch is free today and tomorrow.

Excerpt 3 from The Damaris Touch

The chamber visibly darkened and there was an extremely acrid smell of cabbage.  CD pondered that he had no idea how the chamber was lit, but right now it seemed that this might not be the most important issue at hand.

“VERY WELL, IMPUDENT CREATURE!  I WILL GIVE YOU SOME OF MY EARTH TO TAKE AWAY... IF YOU CHOP OFF TWO OF YOUR LIMBS.”

Damaris thought about this for a moment.  “Done.  I can live without them.”

But the planet wasn’t finished.  “AND YOUR HEAD!”

“Again with the exclamation marks...” muttered Damis.

“No deal.  I need my head.  But perhaps you would take the head of one of my friends?” asked Damaris.  “They don’t appear to use them very much anyway”.

“What friends?” asked the other 3, appalled that she would make this suggestion.

Buy The Damaris Touch on Amazon (free on Kindle Unlimited). 

Captain Disaster BUMPER FREE PROMO WEEKEND!

This weekend (11th and 12th February 2017), both The Captain Disaster Collection and the recently released Captain Disaster: The Damaris Touch will be on free promo.

Excerpt 2 from "The Damaris Touch"

“Hi, I’m Damaris” said Damaris, extending what was possibly a hand but was definitely a limb of some kind.   Her voice had that special quality you normally associate with distressed cats.  CD didn’t notice.  As has been noted by others in the past, love is deaf as well as blind.  Love at first sight is also dumb.

CD pulled himself up to his full height, which wasn’t actually very tall but hey you can’t have everything, and prepared to impress.  “The name’s Disaster.  Captain Disaster.  Bacon, not blurred.”  He was as smooth as an oily fish, and nearly as attractive.

“We… um… well you see, we had a bit of an accident with our space ship, and we wonder if you might be able to help.”  Damis gestured towards their ship, with its undercarriage firmly planted in solid gold.

“We would be ever so grateful if you could help us, brave and handsome captain” rasped Damaris, putting on her best duck face.  Eventually her best duck got tired of this and flew off, but she was still pouting underneath.  A disturbance could be felt in the Force, almost as if a similar joke had been used in the near proximity.

Buy The Damaris Touch on Amazon (free on Kindle Unlimited). 

Excerpt from "The Damaris Touch"

With the area now clear, out strode a space marine, or at least a character of similar stature and bearing.  He stood proudly, hands on hips, clearly waiting for the trio to exit their ship and thank him.   They duly obliged.

“Think nothing of it ladies, gentlemen, aliens and slime, I am always here to protect the weak, stupid and incompetent!” he proclaimed.

“Really?” asked CD.  “That seems unlikely as I’ve never seen you before.”

The marine – or whatever he was – gave CD a hearty slap on the back.  Afterwards CD picked himself up and walked back the 20 yards he had travelled as a result.

“Who are you, stranger?” rasped Damaris.  There was an odd timbre to her voice and the smell emanating from her turned to pickled cabbage.  Captain Disaster found himself oddly envious of the stranger, presumably the result of some kind of weird alien pheromone.

“Well ma’am” said the stranger, “I go by many names.  Some call me The Kentucky Kid.  Others call me Chicken King.  In the Gamma Quadrant they call me Poultry in Motion.  But the name I go by most often is Colonel Sandon.” 

They chatted for a while, with Damaris edging closer and closer to the Colonel, while the Colonel edged further and further away from her.  It was a fascinating dance and seemed like it would have continued for some time, except Gerraldino reappeared and swallowed them both.

Buy The Damaris Touch on Amazon (free on Kindle Unlimited). 

Released! Captain Disaster: The Damaris Touch

Answering distress calls can be a tricky business, as Captain Disaster has found out before - but he's a good-hearted individual so of course he answers yet another one. At first there doesn't seem to be any danger, just a couple of odd aliens with a unique business plan - but things soon take a turn for the worst as it emerges that they are not alone on the planet.

Get it on Amazon US
Get it on Amazon UK

Damaris Touch almost complete

Just need a proof-read really... sadly I can't seem to get myself going on my novel, that's been waiting for me to get back to it for a while now, but at least this will be a new release.  Possibly tomorrow, depends on whether I can get the kids away from me long enough to do what I need to do! :-D

Coming soon - The Damaris Touch

A new short story featuring our well-meaning but calamitous star ship skipper, Captain Disaster, is on its way in the near future... here's the cover (subject to minor changes):

Introduction to "The Damaris Touch"

In addition to my novel, which is slowly moving (more slowly than I'd like but I'm trying to pick up the pace!), I'm writing a new Captain Disaster short story.  Depending on the length, I think this plus The Captain Disaster Collection plus Captain Disaster: The Dark Side of the Moon might be enough to package together as a paperback.  Anyway, enjoy the typically stupid introduction to the next adventure!

“What are we going to do with this huge quantity of horrible gunk, ZB?”

“Well… we could always dump it out of the cargo bay.”

Captain Disaster frowned.  “But… but… but… I won it!”

“Yes” replied Zero-Bit, “but you don’t want it.”

“Well, who would want Horstle & Glinkk’s Pineapple and Zelderguiest Fruit Anti-Matter Wicked Strength Chipotle Sauce?  It’s absolutely disgusting.”

“Indeed.  Which begs the question, why did you enter the competition in the first place?”

“The communication said I had been specially selected for a chance to win!”

After a short burst of static which sounded like the electrical equivalent of a snort of derision, ZB shouted “it ALWAYS says that!”

CD looked crestfallen.  “But I won.  I never win anything.”

“Yes, probably because no-one else was idiotic enough to try to win an earth year’s supply of what has been voted The Galaxy’s Most Revolting Sauce for the last 6 years running, ever since the Gorbelgruncher Snottensaucen factory thankfully closed down.  Anyway, you did win that robomusic competition on Acturus-1, remember?”

“But that inadvertently started a civil war!“

“Well, you can’t have everything.”

This preposterous discussion was interrupted by a distress call.  There was a lot of static but the words “stuck… can’t lift off… please help” could be heard.  Having nothing better to do and being of a generally helpful disposition, Captain Disaster decided to investigate and see what they could do to help.